The Iglu Guide | Blog
How to prepare your child for independent living at University
Moving from school to university marks the start of a huge transformation, and you’ll want to be there to support your child at every stage. This next step looks different for everyone, with most students experiencing highs and lows in equal measure. As parents, we’ve been well trained in helping to smooth out that road ahead. But now, the job spec flips because preparing your child for independent living is about helping them navigate those road bumps independently, all whilst providing advice and support when needed. Here’s how you can help make that transition into their new home that little bit easier.
Expect ups and downs
Settling into student life definitely takes some time. Most new students will feel happily settled one week and terribly homesick the next, and as a parent it helps to know that this range of emotion is completely normal and should be expected. It can be difficult to manage from a distance, particularly if you are on the end of stressful phone calls and messages, but encouraging coping mechanisms and problem-solving skills will definitely build confidence and resilience for the future. Familiarise yourself with the student resources available to your child both on campus, and within the student accommodation – these are particularly useful for parents located far away. And don’t forget to remind your child that they are certainly not alone, because many other students are going through exactly the same thing.
Brush up on basic life skills
Heading off to uni is very much about becoming self-sufficient and fostering a sense of independence, whether that’s studying, socialising or keeping yourself fed and watered. Parents can play a crucial role by helping their child prepare for what lies ahead.
- Brush up on cooking some basic recipes together that encourage healthy eating on a budget
- Learn how to live on a budget and avoid running out of money
- Learn how to wash clothing and the importance of regular bedsheet changes
- Help your child feel settled by making their new environment feel homely and familiar
- Chat to your child about personal safety and self-care, including how to recognise unhealthy relationships – and where to go if there is a problem
Promote time management skills
Now that school is over, students are very much left to manage their own academic schedule and this huge step change can be difficult to manage in the early days of university. It all comes down to efficient time management, making sure that hours are allocated appropriately so that you get a good balance between social and study. Being able to prioritise tasks and meet deadlines will help avoid stress building up, and ultimately improve academic outcomes.
- Encourage your child to use digital apps and planners to stay on top of their schedule such as Notion or Todoist
- Help them set up a dedicated study space in their room that allows private and undisturbed work
- Practise using different study methods such as the Pomodoro technique, or ones that best match your child’s learning style
- Discuss goal setting as a way to provide a sense of direction and achievement
- Talk about balancing commitments and how it’s important not to take on too much as it may lead to mental health problems and burnout
Encourage social skills
Many students have a very real fear factor about making new friends and this can be a huge barrier to enjoying university life in those early weeks. Fortunately, universities are well set up to manage this, with a schedule of activities designed to help students meet new people, interact and ultimately thrive. Helping your child take advantage of these opportunities and providing guidance and advice will enable them to navigate social scenarios with confidence and ease.
- Talk about the benefits of O-Week with your child as an opportunity to meet other students from different courses
- Encourage them to take advantage of the numerous clubs and societies available
- Discuss other potential opportunities for social interactions eg with housemates, within the community or at social events
- Encourage empathy and conflict resolution skills – these are crucial tools for living in shared student accommodation and will result in deep and trusted friendships
- Discuss cultural differences and appropriate behaviours, including the importance of body language and non-verbal clues which help build rapport
Stay involved
The best support that parents can provide is to be as involved as possible in the transition. Give your child the reassurance that everything they are feeling is completely normal, and will resolve in time. Being present and attentive when they talk, whilst showing genuine interest in the topics will boost confidence and trust, and help keep lines of communication open. The happier they feel, the more confident they will be in everything they do, from building friendships and achieving academic success to leading a fulfilled and independent life.
- Demonstrate involvement right from the start by helping identify appropriate student accommodation
- Help devise a packing list and find out what’s provided and what isn’t
- Respect your child’s decisions even if you may not agree – making mistakes is an important part of the path to independence
- Encourage a healthy lifestyle and discuss the benefits of getting enough sleep
- Stay consistent in your approach, building reliability and trust
- Make sure your child knows they have a supportive household behind them at all times
