The Iglu Guide | Blog
13 golden rules to making new friends fast when starting university
The very idea of ‘finding your tribe’ at university is enough to leave even the most sociable of students feeling a little nervous. The prospect of living in an entirely alien environment where you are unlikely to recognise a single face hardly feels like the ideal place to improve your social life. But on the flip side, every student there is in exactly the same boat. And that simple fact makes starting university the perfect opportunity to make good friends, really fast. If you’re worried about how to make it all happen in those early weeks, here’s our tried and tested Golden Rules that will create the perfect social set up for every student – whatever that looks like.
1. Stay open-minded
Try to avoid any fixed ideas about the types of friends that you want to make, and what that social group should look like. One of the greatest benefits of going to university is the possibility of meeting a range of students from all different backgrounds and interests. If you’ve arrived from overseas, there might be a temptation to seek out other students in a similar situation, and stay within your safe zone. Whilst this is completely natural, you will find it easier to integrate and get more out of the opportunity in the long term by spreading your wings and embracing the differences. Experiencing a degree of culture shock is very common, and some students will be more affected than others.
2. Make the first move
There’s never been a better time to be less fearful of initiating a conversation or reaching out to others, without that looming fear of rejection. There are so many opportunities for this to happen in the early weeks – think O-Week, meeting your flatmates for the first time, joining a new club or taking a seat in the lecture hall just for starters. You’ll never have a more receptive crowd than during those first weeks at university – and that’s how those early friendships take hold.
3. Get out and about
Fast friendships are built on experiences, and you certainly won’t find new friends sat alone at home in your room. When you first get to university, try to participate in everything that interests you. From clubs and societies through to events and experiences, this is where you will meet other like-minded students that share your passions and life curiosity. The more you go, the more you will meet them. And while you’re out and about, you’ll naturally meet other new friends along the way.
4. Be an active listener
When you’re constantly meeting new people, it can be easy to zone out of conversations as you reach the limits of how much more information you can actually absorb. Dig deep, lean in and actively partake in each exchange. You might discover a surprise mutual hobby – and at the very least it makes another person feel listened to and appreciated! Ask questions and show interest, you never know where it could lead.
5. Get a job on campus
A popular way to make new friends is to work on campus, right in the heart of the action. Working part-time at the student bar is a popular choice as it is often the social centre of the university and a useful meeting spot. You’ll also get to meet a whole range of different students from all different course disciplines. Best of all, you can earn a bit of extra money to boost the budget.
6. Unplug and dial in
If you want to meet friends IRL, you have to unplug from the digital world, and join the real world. That means taking out those headphones, putting away your screen and getting involved. Take the opportunity to join in themed events that aren’t screen based such as games nights. These are places where you can easily strike up casual conversation with no strings attached.
7. Be authentic
This is one golden rule you can’t afford to break. Some students head off to Uni determined to reinvent themselves in an effort to fit in socially, or to break away from their old lives. This is rarely a good long-term strategy because what makes you personally unique, is actually what makes you interesting. So stay true to yourself, and reap the friendships you deserve.
8. Follow up
When you meet new people and enjoy the interaction, it can be tricky knowing how to take the friendship forward. New Uni students are in the perfect position to legitimately follow up on every enquiry. Don’t be afraid to ask for contact details, send a snap or drop a message. It shows you are interested in deepening the connection – and they probably are too!
9. Respect boundaries
Not every friend behaves in the same way, or on the same terms – but this doesn’t need to be a negative aspect of your friendships. Learning to respect boundaries and understanding that behaviours occur across a spectrum of respectability is a key learning that will serve well later in life. Some friendships simply require more bandwidth, and that doesn’t necessarily reflect the quality of the relationship.
10. Select the right student accommodation
Choosing the right student accommodation is key to how well you settle in and make friends at university. Having some room-mates on tap to socialise with can be an enormous benefit in those early weeks, when most students are adapting to the new routine and settling into student life. And even if you choose to live alone, having a like-minded community immediately accessible on site can be a game changer. It enables you to access a whole different community of people you might not ordinarily meet, all with different viewpoints and cultural perspectives.
11. Stay patient and positive
Try to avoid putting pressure on yourself to create the perfect social scene too quickly. Sometimes, it just takes a little longer. But with a positive outlook and a little bit of patience, it will happen. It’s important to remember that not everyone has the same needs. Some students thrive on a few close friends, whereas others prefer a much wider social group.
12. Be a good housemate
You never know, your new best friend might just be waiting for you right under your nose. So, make sure you’re being the best housemate you can be right from the get-go, as first impressions can go a really long way. Clean up after yourself, be mindful of the noise, and always be respectful and courteous.
13. Keep the door open!
This is a metaphorical and literal golden rule. Keep your bedroom door propped open as a signal to others that you are open to communication. This is an open invite for others to pop in and say Hi. And keep your emotional door open with other students you meet. Sometimes, those first impressions aren’t always the best, and everyone deserves second chances.
